You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
