Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize