genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
