Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I just want nice things and good sex
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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