I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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