I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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