im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
