If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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