I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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