if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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