sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
