it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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