pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
