I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
