he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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