SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
