All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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