Whod you bang
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
