She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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