i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
