I think i sorta joined a cult last night
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
