just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
