My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
