just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize