Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
