found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
