Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
