TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
