Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
You can't just leave with hair like that
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
