I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
