I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Are my feet made of real feet?
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
