so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
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His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
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We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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