im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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