It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I checked into jail on foursquare
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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