..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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