I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I could fuck to npr.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
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