Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize