Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
