I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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