Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize
