Capitaan dildo arrescate!
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
