When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
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