i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
