i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
two words: eviction party
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
