i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Randomize
