please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
there is puke in my bra ... again
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
