sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
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