just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
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Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
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No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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