he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Randomize
