please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
