Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
It's rum buckets o'clock
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Randomize
