Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
