i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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