If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
