after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Randomize
