I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
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conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
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They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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