the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
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