Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize